Politics
WakdjunkagaJoe Biden, Trickster (adapted from a Winnebago tale to better explain the most recent gaffe by the Vice-President)
(source unknown, [click here for the original])
As he continued his aimless wandering, unexpectedly, much to his surprise, he met a little foxYuliya Tymoshenko, Prime Minister of Ukraine. “Well, my younger brothersister, here you are! You are travelinglooking for a powerful ally, aren’t you?” “Yes, yes, here I am!” answered the little fox Yuliya Tymoshenko, Prime Minster of Ukraine. “The world is going to be a difficult place to live in and I am trying to find some clean place in which to dwellfriends to help me out. That is what I am looking for.” “Oh, oh, my younger brother, what you have said is very true. I, too, was thinking of the very same thing. I have always wanted to have a companion, so let us live togetherbond.” TricksterJoe Biden consented, and so they went on to look for a place in which to dwellfriends to help restart the cold war.
As they ran along they encountered a jay the President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili. “Well, well, my younger brother, what are you doing?” asked TricksterJoe Biden. “Older brother, I am looking for a place to live insome friends because the world is soon going to be a difficult place in which to dwell.”
“We are looking for the very same thing. When I heard my younger brother speaking of this I envied him very much. So let us livebond together, for we also are hunting for such a placean arrangement.” Thus spoke TricksterJoe Biden.
WinterConfusion soon approached and not long after it began, a deep snowresentment fell. The situation…became indeed very difficult. They had nothing to eat mortgaged U.S. President Barack Obama’s considerable international appeal and they were getting quite hungryforeign powers to question their motivations. . . . Then TricksterJoe Biden spoke: “Listen. There is a village yonder, where they are enjoying great blessings. The chief has a son who is killing many animals. He is not married yet but is thinking of it. Let us go over there. I will disguise myself as a woman and marry him. Thus we can live in peace until spring comes.” “The reality is the Russians are where they are. They have a shrinking population base, they have a withering economy, they have a banking sector and structure that is not likely to be able to withstand the next 15 years, they’re in a situation where the world is changing before them and they’re clinging to something in the past that is not sustainable.”
“Good!” theythe fearful leaders of the former Soviet Republics ejaculated. All were willing and delighted to participate.
TricksterJoe Biden now took an elk’s liver and made a vulva from it. Then he took some elk’s kidneys and made breasts from them. Finally he put on a woman’s dress. In this dress his friends enclosed him very firmly. . . . He now stood there transformed into a very pretty woman indeed. Then he let the foxthe President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili have intercourse with him and make him pregnant….After that he proceeded toward the village Moscow.
Now, at the edge of the villageMoscow, lived an old womanthe President of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev and shehe immediately addressed him, saying, “My granddaughter, what is your purpose in traveling around like this? Certainly it is with some object in view that you are traveling!” Then the old womanthe President of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev went outside and shouted, “Ho! Ho! There is someone here who has come to court the chief’s sonnon-Russian, Central Asian powers.” This, at least, is what the old womanthe President of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev seemed to be saying. Then the chief the Prime Minister of Russia, Vladimir Putin said to his daughtersthe President of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev, “Ho! This clearly is what this woman wants and is the reason for her coming [also, he smells not unlike Elk innerds and sex]; so, my daughtersPresident of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev, go and bring your sister-in-law here figure out just what it is that the government of the United States is doing.” Then they went after her. She certainly was a very handsome woman. The chief’s son liked her very much. Immediately they prepared dried corn for her and they boiled split bear-ribs. That was why Trickster was getting married, of course. When this food was ready they put it in a dish, cooled it, and placed it in front of Trickster. He devoured it at once. There she (Trickster) remained. They contacted the White House, but U.S. President Barack Obama was more focused on domestic issues.
Not long after TricksterJoe Biden became pregnantreturned stateside, atop his magical Amtrak train. The chief’s son was very happy about the fact that he was to become a father. Not long after that Trickster gave birth to a boy. Then again he became pregnant and gave birth to another boy. Finally for the third time he became pregnant and gave birth to a third boy. The last child cried as soon as it was born and nothing could stop it. The crying became very serious and so it was decided to send for an old woman who had the reputation for being able to pacify children. She came, but she, likewise, could not pacify him. Finally the little child cried out and sang: “If I only could play with a little piece of white cloud!” He arrived in Washington, resplendent in his ritual blue collar, still smelling of Elk. As the nations of Georgia and Ukraine rejoiced in his country’s seeming support, he threw back his head and laughed, knowing full well that he could not legitimately offer anything to anyone. He was, Dick Cheney aside, only the Vice President.
They went in search of a shaman, for it was the chief’s son who was asking for this and, consequently, no matter what the cost, it had to be obtained. . . . All tried very hard, and, finally, they made it snow. Then, when the snow was quite deep, they gave him a piece of snow to play with and he stopped crying. In the weeks that followed Yuliya Tymoshenko, Prime Minster of Ukraine and the President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili grew confused: Did Joe Biden not offer them a subtle hint of support in their rivalry with the President of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev and the Prime Minister of Russia, Vladimir Putin. And yet no material evidence of their agreement had surfaced.
After a while he again the President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili cried out and sang: “If I could only play with a piece of blue sky!”What the fuck Joe Biden, did you not address my Parliament?”
Then they tried to obtain a piece of blue sky for him. Very hard they tried, but were not able to obtain any. In the spring of the year, however, they gave him a piece of blue grass and he stopped crying.Thanks to listening devices planted throughout the former Soviet Union, Joe Biden heard the song in his office, and called the President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili. “President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili, did you not know that you were talking to a man with no real power?”
After a while he began to cry again. This time he asked for some blue (green) leaves. Then the fourth time he asked for some roasting ears. They gave him green leaves and roasting ears of corn and he stopped crying.” The President of Georgia, Mikheil Saakashvili responded by reminding Joe Biden that he had told his Parliament that he spoke on behalf of the United States. “Was this a lie?” he asked.
One day later, as they were steaming corn, the chief’s wife teased her sister-in-law. She chased her around the pit where they were steaming corn. Finally, the chief’s son’s wife (Trickster) jumped over the pit and she dropped something very rotten. The people shouted at her, “It is Trickster!” The men were all ashamed, especially the chief’s son. The animals who had been with Trickster, the fox, the jaybird and the nit, all of them now ran away. “Well, yeah, kinda,” said Joe Biden.
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good, good, good. yes, yes, yes.
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