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August Strindberg: Inspiration, Tormentor, Swede

Notes From These Pajamas: The Diary of a Freelance Writer Pt. II

Dear Diary,

Woke up at 12:45 in the afternoon this morning in the midst of an existential collapse, convinced my life had swung dangerously off-course and into the realm of the completely insignificant: bereft of purpose, empty of value, of no use to anyone, a meaningless study in narcissism and solipsistic infantilism. Also, there are no eggs in my refrigerator. Which means I’ll be eating another in a series of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast. Terrible, inhuman, malicious, cruel fates!

I’ve decided that the only way to move past this deep sense of ennui sprinkled with light terror is to change the approach I’ve been taking to my work. For too long I’ve depended on short pieces – film reviews, artist profiles, political satires, lawn-mower instruction manuals – to get me by, figuring the best way to keep myself and, more importantly, the two publications that occasionally employ me  (The T____ O____, B__’s Life) interested was to constantly shake things up so no one would get bored. But now I’m bored of not being bored all the time, and I’ve decided the best way to establish myself as a writer of substance worthy of a paycheck that will keep me in the socks I like is to focus on one large project: a book, perhaps, or a movie script. Perhaps even a play. I’ve always wanted to re-imagine August Strindberg’s The Dance of Death as a sex farce.

I may have to take up Swedish again.

So in that spirit, some other ideas (Nagot andra aning):

Books

Pass Me the Eraser: The Life and Work of Ira Gershwin – Unlike most biographies of the great lyricist, I will concentrate on his early work, before he and his brother had become legends. In addition to relaying anecdotes of Gershwin’s early struggles with publishers, performers, and the anti-Semitic citizens of Hackettstown, New Jersey, the book will include extensive explications of many of the writer’s earliest, lesser-known, lyrics, including: “You ate all the ham / You drank all the jam / You left out the milk / But you look great in silk / Don’t you / Darling” (I Love You Despite it All, 1919)

The Grinding: An allegory of existential horror about a tortured man, Cassius Lotorsky, who moves into an old house in the woods and is tormented nightly by a horrible grinding sound coming from his kitchen. Consumed with guilt over having murdered his family, Lotorsky is convinced the grinding is the sound of impending divine retribution and so never bothers to check if he turned off the garbage disposal.

Movies

Gated – The residents of two gated suburban communities become so terrified by the outside world that they declare war on each other in a fit of mass paranoia. A metaphor for the excesses of the Bush Administration and the tenuous nature of American democracy in times of war, the film will feature a kung-fu fight in one of the communities’ spacious, state-of-the-art laundry rooms.

Notes From These Pajamas – Adapted from my published diaries, the story of a youngish writer struggling through days of poverty and artistic paralysis and nights of love, wine, and song. The question the film will dare to ask: Which is more horrible?

(No doubt the film’s triumphant moment will be the scene in which the youngish writer first gets the idea to write a movie about a youngish writer writing a movie about a youngish writer and then starts calling around trying to convince someone else to write it for him.)

Musical

How Many Ways Can They Find to Say “No”? – The story of wide-eyed, optimistic, good-natured, handsome, mysterious youngish man coming to terms with the harsh realities of life as a freelance writer, where every day is a parade of rejection. The show climaxes with a thrilling reprise of the title song during which a 300-person chorus, a menagerie of endangered animals, and Sarah Bernhardt dance a tarantella in a thunderous extravaganza of self-pity … and the world promptly forgets Giuseppi Verdi ever existed.

TAGS:August Strindberg, Freelance, Poverty, Sarah Bernhardt, Writer

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