Sports
Photo by Brian Auer via Flickr
When the players of the National Basketball Association (NBA) take the court for the first time at the end of October, current indications are that they’ll do so alongside a cast of replacement officials. As of this past Sunday, the New York Times was reporting that the list of scabs included at least two previously fired referees, 25 WNBA veterans, and 13 NBA Development League zebras: a somewhat respectable list, it would seem (at least these folks have seen time working a professional version of their sport). Still, newly-minted Cleveland Caviliers’ Center Shaquille O’Neal is skeptical. On Friday, as O’Neal came out in favor of the officials, Fanhouse’s Tim Povtak wrote, “[t]he NBA used replacement officials at the start of the 1995-96 season, and they were rounded criticized for being unable to control the games. During a particularly physical exhibition game that season, O’Neal had his right thumb fractured when he was karate chopped by Matt Geiger before he went up for a dunk.” Shaq, it seems, thinks that the NBA should grant the refs their contract requests for safety’s sake. And though he’s got a point, there’s something else that League executives should consider: Blessed with the opportunity to finally rid themselves of the unholy tyranny of officiating, the NBA should jump at this chance to let players call their own fouls.
Think about it: Street ball — with its breakneck pace, lax rules enforcement, and authentic cache — is the gritty better of its professional cousin. And really, the only thing that separates the two versions of the sport is the fact that the NBA chooses to employ officials. But the difference embodied in a man with a whistle more or less kills the rush that’s offered when he isn’t there to keep things under control. After all, aren’t refs nothing more than policy wonks with direct power, whose whole reason for being is built on excuses (okay, rules — but, really, what’s the difference?) that serve to tamp down the excitement of a game.
Take away policing and you get chaos. Fine. Really. On the court, chaos would mean an extra few steps on the way to the basket (read: more spectacular dunkage), or perhaps the leeway to get a few extra elbows in on defense. Maybe, if things go really bad, somebody breaks something. But take a closer look: Isn’t this all just the democratization of the sport of basketball? No refs means no favorites. In a world where there is most certainly a hierarchy, and little mistakes by big-name players tend to be ignored, basketball suffers from the appearance of unequal rules enforcement. In this light, the act of allowing players to call fouls on their own serves as an act of equalization — we can all rest assured that the ultra-competitiveness of what goes on during a sporting event will serve as a self-regulation: Is tit-for-tat not the best way to be totally fair?
As if that weren’t enough, there’s also the entertainment factor that goes with the end of officialdom. For starters, the NBA, sans-refs, starts to get more like street ball. More action. Quicker pace. Better game. And by making the players responsible for calling all fouls, you’re virtually ensuring plenty of major no-fucking-way-did-I-travel conversations a game. This adds a whole new dimension — that of serious debate — to the game. Imagine what this might do for the pasty library rats who play for an Ivy Legaue squad. (When you factor in education costs, one can make more money over five average years in the NBA than in the same amount of time as a Harvard/Yale/Cornell-educated Doctor/Lawyer/CEO.)
‘Course, with all of the contact — and probable catastrophic injury — all kinds of players who might have otherwise never had a shot at professional basketball would find themselves cracking rosters. And that spells perhaps the best reason to can officiating: With so much opportunity here, it’s possible that the NBA could turn into a major job source. Cash for Clunkers? Nah, this is real stimulus.
So maybe Shaq should stop whining — you know, for the good of the country.
Comments
4 Comments
Geez Mike i would watch so much more pro B-Ball if this were the case. Not that i watch much now, i have to admit.
You’re probably gonna have to add at least half an hour to the broadcast time though. Bursts of quick action punctuated by whiny debates over fouls that may, with a little luck, result in some finsitcuffs. But hey, that means a few to several more commercial breaks, so maybe a lot of marketing departments will get behind this too?
Yr right on all counts, Evan. And now that this is a money-making scheme, maybe the NBA will buy in?
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