Arts & Culture

Not tonight!
Me: Thank you for having me over for dinner.
Them: Of course.
Me: I brought wine.
Them: Thank you. How thoughtful of you.
Me: It’s the least I could do. So, what are we eating? It smells delicious.
Them: We’re having Indian Curry Chicken Tikka.
Me: Wow. That sounds amazing. I love chicken.
Them: It’s a recipe we heard about on _____ Chef.
Me: Great. I’ve never really watched too many of those cooking shows. I’m not much of a chef myself. I could ruin cereal, you know? (laughs)
Them: On the show, the announcer said that this dish was first served at the court of Hindu Rajput King Maha Rana Pratap of Mewar in the 14th century.
Me: That is amazing. Well, this wine was once served out of a paper bag and sipped through a straw by King Charlemagne, so … (laughs)
Them: The chicken is seasoned with garlic, ginger, cinnamon sticks, bay leaves, cardamom pods, cloves, and hot pepper flakes.
Me: Sounds good to me. This is a great house. How long have you guys lived here?
Them: We are also having balsamic roasted vegetables – zucchini, yellow squash, bell peppers, onions, and eggplant. The zucchini is from a local community garden. The key to a good roasted zucchini is to pick it just before it’s ripe and then to leave it in a marinade for three days or so. That way it doesn’t require too much roasting, but is rather braised, to preserve its natural flavor while getting rid of some of the peatiness.
Me: Well, I look forward to eating it. Did you guys see what Obama said today about unemployment, about how he wants to pass another stimulus package with government money for bridge-building and tax breaks for small businesses? He’s claiming that …
Them: Here’s a sampling of fresh, soft ripened, wash rind, semi-soft, firm and hard cheeses to enjoy as an appetizer. We went with some friends to a cheese-tasting party last week. We tried Bergenost, Colby, Lieserkranz, Provel, Herve, Limberger, Maredsous, Passendale, Rochfort, this Bulgarian cheese called Sirene, three different cheeses from Denmark called Tilsit, Esrom, and Danso, and then of course some Weislacher and Hirtenkase and Tilsit. And we topped the afternoon off with a little White Stilton and Winsleydale for dessert. These are just some simple Dorset Blue Vinneys, but we kind of planned this dinner at the last minute.
Me: That’s fine.
Them: Mmm, these vegetables are going to be perfect. Here, taste the eggplant; it’s just at that peak of succulence before it gets too ripe or too overcooked and takes on a sort of meaty, peaty, gamy texture around the edges.
Me: Mmm. No, it’s very good. You know, I went to a restaurant last week called ____. Have you been there? I really enjoyed their steak. It was delicious. Very juicy.
Them: The chef there puts the most amazing Bernaise sauce on his cauliflower – the flavor lingers just so on the back left-hand corner of your tongue. But their broccoli – I couldn’t quite put my finger on it; it was like it had been lightly dipped in caper butter and left out to dry in the summer sun just two or three days longer than was necessary and everything got infused with a saffron tartness.
Me: Really? I didn’t try that, I guess.
Them: Of course, the most important thing to remember when you’re honey-glazing a thinly-sliced bouillabaisse, especially when the eggs come from grass-fed chickens, is to go easy on the sour cream at first, because that tempers the natural oakey flavor of the venison. What we do is take a pinch of aniseed myrtle and mix it with just a shake of Cumin and a dollop of Lesser Galangol (or at least Indonesian Bay Leaf), and we put it all in the freezer over night. That way the lamb is singed, not calcified, the morel reduction is more like a pâté than diced parsley, and the portobellos are allowed to breathe, which is the key to a good bacon yogurt.
Me: Ahhh, bacon.
Exeuent Omnes






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So having pedestrian taste is a badge of honor?
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